What do you do when you have a moment of crisis? Do you read the Bible? Confide in your best friend? Cry-talk to God? I’m asking because I’m in that moment. And I don’t exactly know what to do. You see, I’m a stuffer. The ultimate represser. I can shove pain so low that I forget about it. And then I think I’m okay. Until moments like this come and I remember. I remember all too well. The events replay over and over in my head and my emotions burst through me like a volcano erupting, like my body is on the verge of implosion. So what do I do?
In the past I would wallow. Let the emotions take over and I would live in it, become temporary consumed by it and then re-stuff. But I don’t want to live here anymore. I’m choosing not to live here anymore. I’m not shoving them back inside and waiting until my next eruption.
So I write.
But this time I have no words of inspiration. Just words.
And I’m sharing those words because maybe someone else is having a moment of crisis. And maybe you just need to know that you’re not alone. Maybe I just need to be reminded that I’m not alone. And that I don’t have to be ashamed and hide these moments. And that I can be honest and say that I’m not always okay.
And that’s okay.